in the past 4 month(in february for sure) during holiday i meet this guy at msn,he's adding my msn and i greet him :
(maaf agak2 lupa dikit)
dira : ini **** mana ya?
him : **** pj
him : lo?
dira : hoo **** yg kelas 2 itu ya,gue jg pj hehe
him : iya ko tau? kls 1 ya?
dira : iya haha
him : ooo lo dira yang pas di ruang bhs indonesia palanya nongol keluar ya?
dira : hah?!
him : haha iya kan?
dira : eeh ngga eh iya ko tau ka?
him : haha taulah
dira : waduh itu cuma iseng ko bener deh..
(okay i forget what happened next but that's my first conversation with him)and ooh did i forget to tell you about his name? okay for now just call his name 'nanas' i dont want him glares at me if he read his name at the internet in my BLOG!
continue,so in the next day and the next day and the next day again he greet me on msn then he asked me my phone number and we started to messaging.
first i just feel like it's weird cause i think "hahaha si kakak jaket ko bisa dah tau msn gua" but as the time goes by i felt something strange about my feeling.
yeah it's true that he's funny,charming,kind but why would i like him? i should not like him..because our religion different and at that moment
im close to another boy too(okay i tell about that later).
and then in february 22 that another "boy" shoot me and i just can deny it(i promise i tell you about that later).
yeah i know im very very trully fool,in that day too i know that my truth feeling is that i like nanas ooh im so god damn fool!.
so i told nanas that im in relationship with that another boy,and he was just like "hmm gue cuma bisa bilang selamat" daaaaaaaamn what should i do? i dont want him to leave me! gyaaa(i know it selfish) but evidently he still want to message me,so we still doing sms,msn even we called each other.
okay, i know is out of limit..but what can i do? you can't lie your truth feeling right?.
then,day past by and my relationship with him get closed and i once say this to him"knp lo ga nyari cewe lain? gue bener2 gaenak kalo kyk gini gue sama aja nyakitin lo jg" and he was just like "gpp dir buat sekarang yg bisa buat gue bahagia cuma lo doang,kalo gw jadian sama cewe lain sama aja dia gue sakitin dong,masa gue jadian sm org yg ga gw suka".
oh and he say this"gue bakal nunggu lo dir,gatau sampe kapan tp gue bakal nunggu lo karna gue sayangnya cuma sama lo aja" and"not loving you is harder than you know" and blablablabla (banyak kata2 gombal lainnya yg kalo lo baca pasti bakal terharu(buat cewe)). yeah i know it sound cliche but i trust him with all of my heart that day i was so naive.
in april 24 or 25 on holiday he's going to puncak with his friends to retreat,he say that there is only ka audo,ka ray,pa siregar,bu herning,jessica justine,hmm i forget his name and him in there.
and in that day im going to dufan with afila,puri and nindy(oh yeah i made a tatto in there it's write 30 that's mean 4 my birthday + 26 nanas birthday=30-.-),but i feel something strange,he didn't reply my message for long time.
3 days later he still rarely reply my message then holiday over,monday came and nanas still didn't reply my message. then that tragedy come,in 1 april my classmates icung,puri,cindy,chika,dika fool me with the story that nanas and "a girl that i suspicious in love with nanas" hang out together. and ooouh im very sad i even cry(not cry cry but yeah im cry) then they all shout"aaaapriiil foool" damn im sooo embarresed.
but in fact(in painful fact) it's RIGHT! yeah i know from my classmate too that nanas is in a relationship with THAT GIRL! and then iwoel say that nanas and that girl had been closed since long time..if it's true why he dont tell me?!
i dont know what to say..if only you know what im feeling that day my life like falling apart i cant take it why he can be such a jerk..okay the problem is not why he can't be my boyfriend? but why i can lose the one that i trust with all of my heart? in a such that way and in just a 3 fucking day! oh yeah i forget to tell that i broke up with "another boy" in 29 maret nanas and that girl going together in 28 maret ha ha ha.
where's NOT LOVING YOU IS HARDER THAN YOU KNOW? i guess you easy to replace me with another girl right? what a bunch of bullshit i hate you i hate youuu! buuut the truth is i can't hate you aaargh,i can't mad at you,i can't yell at you,i can't ignore you the thing is i cannot NOT LOVING YOU, if only you know..you change my life 180 degree,but there's no way to take you back to me,you belonging to other girl and now i just can to look at you in a far away and wishes the best for you..i can't lie i still hoping to god for atleast he want to greet me again on msn.
but wishes just a wishes,i cannot just always hoping for that day to come right? yeah in this experience i learn that loving is not always have to having but hoping the best for the one that we love and happy to see him happy too so..nanas if not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love..goodbye
i've just read it again,and i was like soo friggin drama queen that day! and i realized that he's such an assholes! go fuck urself beny! youre a worthless piece of dick! ure even not worth enuff for ur girlfriend..
BalasHapus